


Self-Sabotage

by modoki



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Jealousy, Love Triangle, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modoki/pseuds/modoki
Summary: Wooyoung has always hated being single in the fear he would end up like his mother. With that fear he ended up falling into relationships for the wrong reasons, causing them to eventually fall apart. He was head over heels for San until he wasn't. After graduation, Wooyoung takes his first steps towards putting his career as a designer ahead of his love life. Things begin to take off until he meets a beautiful actor named Kang Yeosang who piques his interest. If balancing his own emotional insecurities towards relationships and his budding career were not enough, San wiggles his way back into Wooyoung's life to reignite the flame they once had.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue : All I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I have not written a fic in years so I forget how this site works but I'll get there. I've also never written anything for Ateez so I am hoping to do them justice.

The air in the house was painfully heavy, weighing on Wooyoung until he just wanted to scream. It was impossible to lift everything up without someone getting hurt and he understood that. Deep down he knew that San understood it too. His boyfriend was to come over after class to talk this through but the wait was excruciating. Wooyoung got up and began pacing in front of the couch, walking up to the door and pivoting on his heel to repeat the motion. Sitting still made him anxious but the continuous movement somehow made it worse. 

San and Wooyoung had been dating for a little under three years but within that time a lot had happened. Both saw the highs and lows of a relationship, and right now was getting really close to the bottom. If he had to admit, Wooyoung felt a growing split between him and San close to the end of their last semester. He blamed it on finals then. With the two of them having heavily involved majors, there was a lot they needed to focus on when the time came. San was on and off sets with the other film students while Wooyoung spent days and nights in the studio sewing his junior collection. 

Following final exams, they continued on their path away from each other when San was accepted into a summer film program. Wooyoung was happy for him because it meant he was going to work with some big names in the industry but it was all the way in Los Angeles. For him, he took it easy during the break from school and traveled with his best friend, Mingi before busying himself with building up his brand. 

Wooyoung had a lot of hope for senior year since they had gotten a dorm together. He would have liked for the two of them to live in an apartment off campus but it was just too expensive for them because most of their money was spent on work. San came back from his trip and it was almost like they could not talk about anything too deep. The build up of stress from all angles pushed Wooyoung into moods and all he wanted was to feel some sort of support from San and he just was not there for him. He was never sure if he just did not want to or if he did not know how. Wooyoung blamed himself for their current distance, thus leading to the weight he was feeling on his shoulders as he walked back and forth across the carpet. 

It was hard enough trying to pull through to hopefully get a grip on his dream profession when no one in his family had ever been remotely supportive. With a mother who didn't care about anyone but the next rich man who could pamper her, Wooyoung strived to get some sort of validation. After a particularly big fight between Wooyoung and his mother occurred, he had gone to San to vent. What he had hoped to be unconditional support turned into San jumping on him for the words he had said to his mother. Looking back on it, Wooyoung made some harsh comments, but if his own boyfriend couldn't even take his side, then he really was truly alone.

The search for validation often led Wooyoung down the wrong paths. Even during the times they were happy, something would spark inside Wooyoung and drive him to try and break things off. Maybe he was happy for too long. Maybe San did something a little extra thoughtful that day. He felt guilty for having these self-sabotaging thoughts because San did not deserve a boyfriend with a sour energy. Maybe the reason San ignored their anniversary was because he was tired of dating someone who was constantly searching for an out. 

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened, catching himself at the last second before he fell to the floor. Wooyoung was shaking, afraid of what was going to happen if he spoke up again. A few times he had snapped at San, instigating some heated arguments that resulted in one of three outcomes. One, Wooyoung would storm out and crash on Mingi’s couch without saying anything. Two, he would call Jongho crying and end up having to talk his friend out of trying to pick a fight with San. Or three, let the argument fall stale and try to move on without a winner or solution. He was on three now. 

“H-hey…” 

“Sorry I'm late, class ran over.” San attempted to apologize, knowing they were already in a shaky spot. 

“I expected it, don’t worry about it.” 

“Are you okay?” There was a silence following the question. Was he really okay? Wooyoung looked down and thought over what had happened. 

“Do you remember when our anniversary is?” He spoke quietly, as if he was afraid to hear his own voice. The atmosphere in the room somehow got thicker and he was suffocating. 

“Today? Oh my god- Wooyoung, I’m sorry,” San panicked, running a hand through his two-toned hair, “The days really got away from me, Min-ah picked me to direct her senior film so I have just been-”

“They picked scripts already?” He looked up, “You never told me…”

“Yeah, it was only a few weeks ago. I know you’ve been working on your senior show so I just didn’t wanna bother you.” 

“I want you to bother me.” His boyfriend’s tone eased up on the tension when he began to speak about class, almost like he was more passionate about the time he spent there rather than with Wooyoung. The idea made him more bitter than upset. 

“I-I mean,” San stuttered, catching the coldness coating Wooyoung’s voice, “You have a lot to worry about already, right?” 

“Mhm. Like our three year anniversary. _Last Friday_!” 

“I’m a week late?!” 

“You wouldn’t have remembered at all if I said nothing…” 

“At least I can remind you to eat.” 

“That’s all you do, San, the bar right now is on the fucking ground.” Wooyoung’s eyes narrowed, sadness boiling quickly into anger. At the moment he did not care if his words sounded harsh, he had been on both sides of nasty comments within this relationship. He knew it was not good at all but there was no place for thought when his emotions took the reins. “I could replace you with an app if that’s all you wanna brag about.” 

“You don’t mean that, Wooyoung.” His boyfriend was hurt, the two of them were terrible at holding back their feelings and especially so when things got heated. At the same time, however, he also had a sourness to his voice. “This shit that you’re doing, it has to stop.” 

“What am I doing?” He challenges. 

“Getting mad about every little thing. I’m sorry I was busy. You’re busy too, we can’t be perfect. I am allowed to make mistakes!” 

“Maybe I wouldn’t get mad if I felt like you were my boyfriend for once. Seriously, haven’t you felt this distance between us? I don’t like it.” 

“I know.” San sighs, all malice in his voice disappears, “I hate it too, but every time we try and discuss things we end up going at it like this.”

“Or we have sex.” 

“Or we have sex. Still, that doesn’t solve our problems, Wooyoung.” 

On the inside, Wooyoung was crying. This was how a lot of their arguments would level out. Something would temporarily suppress the flames and he would be left standing in front of San feeling like the only one in the wrong. They both made mistakes, they were both absolutely terrible at addressing things which always caused them to boil down in similar ways. Wooyoung loved San and he was pretty certain San loved him back. That in itself would never change, even if sometimes it was difficult to feel. After all of this arguing, their love was hiding beneath layers and layers of unresolved conflict. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

“This isn’t about missing our anniversary, is it?” San gently pulled Wooyoung to sit beside him on the couch. Looking straight at his boyfriend, he kept both hands on his shoulders despite Wooyoung ducking his head to avoid meeting his gaze. “What did I do?” 

“Do you ever feel…” Wooyoung started, looking up and seeing San’s soft eyes and he chickened out, pulling himself away, “Nevermind, I’m overthinking it.” San stood to follow Wooyoung, pulling at his shoulder to turn him around. 

“Seriously, what is it?” 

“Do you think we will ever be the same again?” He was crying now. 

“Wooy- baby, of course we will. There are just some things we need to talk through.” He nodded, “And things we need to figure out how to not argue about.” 

“Are you just saying that so you don’t lose me? San, I need you to be honest, okay? I can take it.” 

There was a brief moment where the two of them thought about those words. What would it be like to be the same again? Wooyoung began dating San at one of the worst times but he ended up being everything he needed. San was so certain that Wooyoung was for him when they met at a freshman party. That was just ironically the night he was forced to go out with Mingi after his girlfriend had broken up with him earlier in the day. For the night, thinking back then, San was meant to only be rebound sex. Wooyoung never expected San to continue to come around and pursue him the way he did. The two of them had plenty in common and just meshed somehow. They created a world of their own, it was like no one else existed when they were together. Both of their friend groups rolled their eyes whenever they would say something especially cheesy or even dirty. 

They were stupid in love for the better part of these three years but it was the falling out that hit Wooyoung the hardest. He had a lot of hope that maybe they could turn this around, but at the same time he feared that he was holding onto this belief that things could be salvaged because he was terrified of being alone. He was never the greatest on his own. He would always get into trouble with somebody, whether it be someone at a party or a bar. 

San had been the strong mountain he was born to be, holding up Wooyoung even when he was being a mess, trusting his overthought ideas that ultimately pushed him towards sabotaging his own happiness time and time again. These were things he tried to talk about with Mingi but he knew he would not be able to get any solid advice from someone who had been purposefully single all throughout college. 

“I believe in us.” San said finally, pulling Wooyoung up from his drowning thoughts. He would have thought those words would be like a breath of fresh oxygen but instead it sent him plummeting deeper into his doubts. 

“I don’t think so. We just keep hurting each other. I hate it.” 

“So what do you want to do about it?” 

The following silence was nearly deafening, Wooyoung was on the edge and he wasn’t sure if taking the leap would lead to a better life for the two of them or unleash a dark cloud over their perfectly formed universe. 

“I think we should stop. The more we try and fix it, I feel like we are making it worse.” 

“Wooyoung…”

“Seriously, San, I love you. But maybe we weren’t meant to be together now. Maybe our timing is just off. I don’t want us to force ourselves forward just to end up hating you or have you hate me. There is so much going on in our lives, I don’t think we should be together.” 

“Oh.” 

* * *

The day after, San’s things were missing from the dorm. Wooyoung had assumed since he was the one who made the final choice, he would at least be the one who had to relocate. That was his decided plan because it wasn’t like Mingi’s couch had a perfect Wooyoung-shaped imprint on the cushions or anything. 

He didn’t hear anything from San for the rest of the semester, assuming he busied himself with the senior film while Wooyoung did the same with his collection. There was a constant pain in his heart because of what happened, but he knew it was the right thing. 

They both graduated at the same time and the ceremony was the first time they had seen one another in months. 

“Your hair is dark again.” San said simply, showing off a weakened smile. His hair grew out a little, slight mullet forming in the back due to possibly him trying to maintain it around his schedule. Wooyoung liked the way it used to look, but he supposed maybe that was the point. 

“I wanted to look professional for commencement. Congratulations.” Wooyoung smiled, earning a quiet ‘Congratulations’ in return before San curtly excused himself to greet his other friends. 

For some reason Wooyoung expected a small conversation, at least something where he could feel how San was doing and maybe entertain the idea of meeting up some time in the summer. But at the same time he knew that he was not entitled to more of San’s time after he broke his heart. Part of him wanted to wait to see if San would reach out,opting to leave him alone and allow healing time for the both of them. When San wanted to talk then he would, right? 

He never did. 


	2. North

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Never seen a face like yours. I got it together but my breath feels short." (North - Clairo)

The time whisked by since his graduation. Wooyoung threw himself into his career and that summer before senior year was actually paying off. He had done plenty of experimenting to keep busy and that extra knowledge helped him impress a popular designer and earn an invite to a small runway show. Of course no one was seeing his designs, but he had been able to attend and start meeting more people in the industry. That was just a small stepping stone as he built his way up. 

Two years since graduation and Wooyoung achieved more and more. He counted himself lucky when he had been requested to design a red carpet gown for one of the country’s beloved actresses because she had seen a dress he had designed for a small scale magazine. The dress itself was one of the most ambitious pieces since his senior show because he had very much preferred men’s fashion with the kind of experience he had. It truly felt like a miracle because it took one celebrity’s interest to nudge the ball along. Since then, Wooyoung had befriended Joowon since they were around the same age and she would always come to him when she had a big scale event to attend. ‘I wouldn’t trust anyone else to steal the spotlight but you’ she would remind him with a smile.

Wooyoung was one for the dramatics and that was often translated in his designs. He was one to experiment mostly with new fabrics which Joowon was always excitable over his new ideas. She matched his energy perfectly and that was what encouraged him to slowly break into the slightly terrifying world of women’s fashion. That was something he had dreaded to do in school but the more he worked on it, the better he felt. 

With his career in a great place, he actually had no time to be in a relationship. At first, Wooyoung used working as an excuse whenever he started to feel down about being alone. Whenever he had a big event to go to, his date was Mingi. His best friend was tall and very, excruciatingly awkward, but for some reason Jongho always refused to go so he had no other options. Part of him believed that Mingi would reject the invitations too, but he really turned on the charm once he hit the social scene. 

“Trust me, your people will love me.” Mingi assured, leaning back in his lawn chair. 

“My people?” 

“Yeah, isn’t that what famous people have? ‘ _People_ ’” Wooyoung rolled his eyes at the air quotes, silently threatening to push his chair over. “Hey hey! Didn’t know that was offensive!” 

“I’m not famous, Min. Not yet.” 

“Oh okay, tell me who just texted you. Lee Joowon?” He raised a brow, “See, you have no response because I’m right.” 

“Okay okay, maybe I’m a little famous but you still never answered my question.” 

“I did too. I said your people will love me. You know I always clean up nice.” 

“You do.” Wooyoung admitted, looking over his friend from head to toe. “No one would ever guess your only living room furniture is a TV and three lawn chairs.”

“Exactly!” 

* * *

The next time he saw Mingi was a few days following that event. Everyone did love Mingi but it was nearly impossible to hate him when he always had good energy. He supposed some of the attendees were less pleased with his carefree and slightly childish attitude but the crowd was around their age so he definitely blended well. 

“Mingiiiiiiii.” He whined as the man in question began picking up random tools in his studio and studying them before putting them back down in different places. “This is the last time I invite you here.” 

“That’s a lie and you know it.” Mingi pointed to the designer while his fingers were tangled in the measuring tape. He leaned forward to try and bite it like it was a long fruit snack. 

“Mingi!” He quickly dropped the tape onto the table in a heap, taking a couple large steps away from it towards the window and pretended to look outside. “I asked you to come here for a reason!” 

“Oh! Yeah,” He turned around, “What is it?” 

“I need a second opinion…” 

“And you’re asking _me_?”

“Not really. I just need to talk it out and the idea wasn’t coming to me when I was alone.” Wooyoung opened up a small sketchbook that had been filled with designs. Swiping through the pages to find the one of importance and flipped it around so Mingi could look. “A big company picked me to design for their drama. Well, the promotional shit, but that is huge for me.” 

“Are you going to go for the fuzzy suit you loved?” 

“Fuzzy? No- Mingi that’s _velvet_ …”

“Same thing. Technicalities.” He shrugged. It took a good amount of Wooyoung not to roll his eyes but he should have known that would be the response he’d receive from his friend. While he was the one who loves fashion, Wooyoung knew he has asked plenty of stupid questions when it came to making music and Mingi was always nice when he needed to explain further. 

The two went over a few of his designs. Wooyoung did love the velvet suit he had designed last winter. It was something that made him so proud. Working with velvet was a big part of his senior show but he had never been able to achieve something as beautiful as that suit while he was still in college. As much as he loved it, the piece just did not feel right. 

“What drama are you working with? Your ideas are very...hot?” 

“It’s called Chasing the Right One. The company told me it was about this girl who falls for a guy who works in the same office as her but her childhood best friend has been in love with her for years and moves in next door. So like a typical love triangle drama.” 

“Would have been cooler if the office guy was some misunderstood bad boy, you know? Girls like the whole aesthetic, _and_ you could dress him in that leather jacket you made last month.”

“I love that jacket so much” He gushed, “but I am sure I can work with this concept. I have to bring some options to the set so what do you think about some things from the Stay Young collection for the childhood friend, you know the fall line?” 

“Yes! Those sweaters were so soft!” Mingi clapped his hands, invested in the idea when Wooyoung started to go through the photos of the runway show he had been able to hold to show off the line. It had been a small line but he was lucky enough to be able to show his work like that. 

Mingi did not know any of the technical terms but his interjections actually eased Wooyoung’s nerves. This was a huge opportunity for him and he could not afford to mess it up. Everything career-wise was working out due to his hard work but he knew that he could not relax until he was at the top. Despite everything he had accomplished, there was a long way to go and failure was not in Wooyoung’s vocabulary. 

They discussed a few options from the collection, figuring out what he could do with the measurements he was given of the actors. Luckily he was only responsible for the two men and not the leading lady because if he had to come up with something for her he would have crumbled under the pressure. From what he had heard, the actress was extremely picky about what she wore and due to her popularity, her company obliged to any of her ridiculous requests. Wooyoung did not know anything about the two actors apart from their measurements and hoped they were just as kind as Joowon. 

* * *

The day of the promotional shoot came upon him and everything was ready to go. Each piece was packed nicely into garment bags and settled on a long metal rack the night before. This was one of the first times Wooyoung had been ready for a shoot beforehand but it was mostly because he did not have to do much to the pieces to alter them to fit the actors. Of course he would bring a kit with him onto the location in case something needed to be fixed. Something about these preparations made him feel much more professional. 

He vividly remembers the time he spent working on a large ball gown for his senior show and crying on the floor of the design studio because he was running out of time. Looking back on the moment he views it as an excellent accomplishment because his professors ended up adoring the piece in the end. 

“Shit.” Wooyoung gasped when he saw the time on his phone as he was getting dressed for the morning. He hadn’t gotten much sleep due to his nerves but he made sure to have enough time to get everything together. If things went the way they normally did, he didn’t have a lot of room for error but he did technically have enough time. As soon as he got to his studio, there wasn’t much to do and just realizing that caused a good feeling to settle into the designer’s mind. 

The place itself was quite large, big enough to have a decent work space along with racks to hold completed pieces next to the fitting area. Since most of the money he earned went towards remodeling this space into his own, he did most of his work by himself rather than have assistants to help everyday necessities. Sometimes design students from his college would assist on big enough projects and for that Wooyoung was very grateful for. 

Today it was just him and to someone it would feel overwhelming but Wooyoung was surprisingly calm. At least he convinced himself this was just like any other shoot and ignored any reminders that this was in fact possibly a huge break for him. 

The shoot itself was at a typical studio set but there were many people running in and out of the building. It was located within a large soundstage where they were likely going to film some of the scenes of this drama. He was assuming at least, having only been a part of magazine shoots that would happen in smaller studios. Maybe it was because these locations were so populated, especially one owned by such a prominent company. 

Wooyoung parked his car as close to the building as possible before getting out and putting together his portable rack so he could wheel the clothes inside the building. On one hand, he should have scoped out where he needed to go first, but at the same time he was working on feelings to keep himself from panicking. 

As he was transferring everything onto the rack, he noticed _The_ Park Seonghwa was exiting the building. The model was extremely well-known for his work in many big magazines and becoming a brand ambassador for Gucci. Wooyoung suddenly felt nervous at the sight, understanding just where he was right now. The panic truly set in as the thoughts ran through his head. He wondered if he would be dressing Seonghwa. Maybe he was breaking into the acting scene. Of course he would have no problem doing so with the modeling experience he had, right? 

He quickly pushed the rack towards the door, entering the code he was given to enter and found himself in a long hallway that was filled with staff running back and forth, in and out of brightly colored doors. Wooyooung swallowed the nervousness down, hoping to dig out some essence of confidence in an attempt to at least make the others believe that he actually belonged in this crowd. Even the staff looked expensively dressed but there was a small path towards Studio H where the shoot was taking place so he kept his composure and did not make too much eye contact as he walked. 

Entering the studio introduced a mixture of emotions as Wooyoung was used to seeing this simple setup for a photoshoot. There was a large colored backdrop with a camera trained in front of a small ‘X’ taped on the floor. He was used to seeing the big lights and all of the equipment which allowed him to breathe as he searched for the one directing the shoot to let them know he was here. Wooyoung saw many new faces. The photographer was seated in front of a large monitor with her camera settled on the table in front of her. Every shot she took would appear up on the monitor for the others to view. There were a few staff members situating the softboxes on the base lighting and another setting up a ring light. Just noticing the lighting setup was exciting for Wooyoung because he knew his outfits would look fantastic in the final product. 

When he finally spotted Mrs. Lee, he greeted her formally and was led over to a separate area where he could take everything out and organize. Wooyoung was excited to start everything but he couldn’t help but look around to see if he could spot the actors. In his head, the two men would be extremely attractive and everything that defines a teenage heartthrob. As he was searching, his eyes focused on a man by the large mirror. He was a little shorter than he expected but his look was incredible. The man was dressed semi-casually compared to most of the other staff, the look itself seemed as if he made some of it himself with patches hand-sewn onto the denim jacket beneath paint splatters. 

“Do you need something?” The man asked, noticing Wooyoung had been staring at him, causing him to jump. 

“Oh! Uh. N-no...What are you doing?” Wooyoung’s face grew hot, embarrassed that he had been caught staring. He had just been so intrigued by the man’s style. 

“I’m just looking at some of the makeup the stylist brought.” He laughed, “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you the makeup artist on this shoot? Sorry, I should introduce myself. I’m Kim Hongjoong, Kang Yeosang’s manager.” Hongjoong offered a hand to Wooyoung which he awkwardly took. 

“I’m actually a designer,” He gestured to the rack with the garment bags hanging from it, “Jung Wooyoung though, nice to meet you. Where is Yeosang?” The name did not sound familiar but at the same time he was not perfectly versed in the actors of the times. He had what Mingi liked to call an old man’s taste in movies so he did not know anything about up and coming young actors unless he had shoots like this with them. 

“Designer, got it. Yeosang is coming from filming on the main soundstage, they sent me over here to make sure everything was ready for the shoot before him and Eunwoo came over.” Wooyoung’s eyes widened when he heard the name Eunwoo, knowing it was somebody Joowon talked about frequently. The two of them did a big movie together just last year but he had only seen him during the red carpet event. It would only be fair for him to be part of a drama like this but it made him wonder just how good-looking Kang Yeosang must be to have to compete with someone as beautiful as Cha Eunwoo for the leading actress’s heart. 

“I should really get set up then.” He smiled, earning a nod from Hongjoong who quickly spotted the makeup artist and moved to speak to her. “Yeosang is lucky to have a manager as thorough as Hongjoong.” Wooyoung said to himself as he got busy unzipping the garment bags and making sure the two styles were separated.

There was a simple chaos going on around him but he entered his own little professional world. As soon as he got his hands on the fabric of his own work, Wooyoung transformed into a serious designer who could have been mistaken as someone who does shoots like this every other weekend. He didn’t even falter when he was face to face with Cha Eunwoo despite his beauty overshadowing even his own. And if anyone knew Wooyoung, he rarely ever said anyone was more good-looking than himself and that was solely based on his perfect self confidence in the visuals department. 

He took a quick glance at the actor before picking out the perfect suit for him to wear. It was a nice onyx suit with charcoal pinstripes matched with a crisp white dress shirt. Everything was laid out nicely on the hangers that he handed to Eunwoo before the actor excused himself to the dressing room. On this set, it was much less of a room and more of a closet sized box with a curtain for a door. That was something Wooyoung had seen on many sets, but he waited for the man to get dressed before he decided on a tie. There was a navy blue one that he was eyeing for a subtle pop of color but the red one could add some extra spice. 

When Eunwoo stepped out from behind the curtain, everything looked good. How could it not, his clothes were on Cha Eunwoo. But in all honesty, Wooyoung did not have to change anything about the suit, it had fit him perfectly. There was a sense of professionalism to Eunwoo, something that made it difficult for him to talk casually with. That was fair enough, the man’s house was probably ten times the size of Wooyoung’s design studio. He offered him the red tie without much further conversation and he was off to take solo shots with the photographer. 

With a sigh of relief, Wooyoung gently peeked at the man posing in front of the camera. It was obvious that he had done plenty of shoots like this before because he was a natural. He felt slightly guilty that his time spent with Eunwoo was extremely professional but someone like him was just on a different social level. There was much less noise once shooting began, hearing the initial clicks of the camera followed by a big flash. The actor kept a serious face, slightly altering his pose after each flash. His movements were smooth and fluid, something Wooyoung could probably watch for hours but he was pulled out of it by the feeling of two fingers tapping on his shoulder. 

Wooyoung jumped slightly, half-expecting to see Hongjoong behind him to let him know that his actor was ready to get dressed. Instead, he was met with the actor himself, he assumed at least. The man he just locked eyes with was slightly taller than him. There was no mistaking that this was Kang Yeosang. His soft brown hair was parted in the middle, styled out of his face and sitting perfectly in place. The man’s makeup had been done already, but it was a simple pink tint across his cheeks and bright makeup that would glisten beneath the studio lights. Wooyoung opened his mouth to speak, trying to avoid staring like an idiot at the boy with perfect lips and soft skin. 

“Yeosang?”

“That’s me.” The actor spoke confidently, smiling politely, “Hongjoong said you were the designer, Mr. Jung?” 

“Wooyoung,” He nodded, “W-wooyoung Jung- I mean, Jung Wooyoung. Yes. That’s me. I’m your designer.” Wooyoung must have looked like a complete idiot in front of this gorgeous actor. He wanted to be invisible or somehow rewind this moment so he wouldn’t _actually sound_ like a complete idiot but he was sure he heard a quiet ‘Cute,’ coming from Yeosang. 

“Are these for me?” He pointed at the rack with a few different outfits still hung up. 

“Yes!” The excitement bubbled up to wash away some of the first-hand embarrassment while Wooyoung went over to pick something out. He took another look at Yeosang and picked out a whit button up and a striped sweater. Just to make sure he was certain of his choice, he quickly held up the main piece and tried to envision it on the model. After silently receiving his own approval, Wooyoung passed the sweater and the rest of the outfit to Yeosang who quietly accepted the hangers with a smile before heading over to the curtain. 

The moment he disappeared behind the fabric, Wooyoung let out a breath he had been holding and just waited. He may have seemed like a freak just staring at the dressing room curtain but at the same time, it was his job to remain efficient and make sure the actors looked stunning. For a moment he spotted Hongjoong speaking to the director and he wondered if the man he just spoke to was picky about anything like the lead actress. He hoped not but just spending two seconds with Yeosang he did not believe he would try to go out of his way to be difficult. 

The sound of the plastic rings against the metal bar pulled Wooyoung’s attention back to Yeosang who was now exiting the dressing room. It took a moment for the designer to focus back on reality when all he could see was this beautiful man stepping out in his fall line. 

“How do I look?” Yeosang asked in a curious tone, seemingly unsure of his statuesque glory. 

“Great!” He answered quickly, shaking his head to put the professional lens back on, “Actually, try rolling up your sleeves.”

“Like this?” Wooyoung made a face, “No?”

“Like this.” He reached both his hands to neaten the roll that the model attempted to do hastily. There wasn’t much of a difference probably to Yeosang but Wooyoung had worked with this fabric for months. The dress shirt was folded nicely with the sweater’s three-quarter sleeve just past his elbow. If there was anything Wooyoung knew, it was that young women found forearms quite attractive and Yeosang’s arms sincerely fit the criteria. “Now this is perfect.” Wooyoung took a step back to admire his work, and maybe Yeosang a little bit, but that was part of his job, wasn’t it? 

“I wouldn’t expect less from a famous designer.” The actor did a turn in the floor-length mirror that stood beside the dressing room. “I feel perfect.” 

“You don’t need my designs to be perfect, I saw the way you came in here.” Before he could hear a response, the photographer was calling the next actor over and Eunwoo was on his way back to the makeup chair to get everything touched up for the group shots. In Wooyoung’s head that came out smoothly. He especially felt that when Yeosang tried to hide a bit of a blush as he made his way over to the backdrop. 

Wooyoung was in trouble and he knew it. Never once was he completely taken aback by a client and he worked with some very attractive and famous models. Not only did he find Kang Yeosang absolutely stunning but he outwardly flirted with him while he was supposed to be working. There had been so many times Wooyoung had to remind himself that he was not looking for any kind of relationship because he was supposed to be focusing on himself and his career but Yeosang just had to gaze in his general direction for a few seconds and he was questioning his own life choices. 

“What do you think of him?” Hongjoong spoke up, appearing beside Wooyoung with a bottle of water in hand. The two silently watched from the sidelines as Yeosang posed. His movements were not as fluid as Eunwoo’s but there was no way he would be as perfect as someone with that much experience. Wooyoung was captured by the way the angle of his face under the light gave him a soft look, something very fitting of the “boy next door” he was supposed to be. 

“He’s a natural.”

“This is his first big role, you know.”

“Really? I expected he’d be much more popular looking like that.” 

“Admiring your work?” Wooyoung laughed like he wasn’t already being obvious with his interest in the actor. He thought there would be no harm now, especially since this was the only shoot he would be working on with the actor for now. It was weird to think he wouldn’t get to see Yeosang after they wrapped up here today unless somehow he managed to dress him again for something else. 

“Something like that.” Hongjoong gave him a long knowing look that was soft but nearly felt as if he was challenging Wooyoung. The stylists ran over to fix up their work before the two men were posed with the lead actress for what he assumed would be the main poster for the drama. Hyewon was dressed quite complicated, her outfit made specially for this shoot. Half of her look was business-like, long brown hair combed back into a bun that was extremely neat on one side and a little more playful on the other. Her style was split right down the middle with a jacket and pencil skirt on one side and a flowy floral skirt and sweater on the other. Yeosang was posed on the more casual side while Eunwoo posed as the business colleague. 

All Wooyoung could think about is how different this would have been if Mingi’s idea was played out instead. There would be no doubt that Eunwoo would have been the one dressed as the boy next door because there was just something about Yeosang that screamed bad boy. He would look amazing in tight ripped jeans and a leather jacket. Wooyoung entertained the vision for much too long, seeing the image of the new actor’s hair slicked back with much darker eye makeup on, maybe even a toothpick sticking out his mouth for that extra something. _Okay, you’re thinking about him too much, Wooyoung._ He thought to himself, hoping and praying he did not let any of his inner thoughts slip during this shoot. 

Once the photographer was content with the shots she had gotten, the actors dispersed to thank all of the staff for all of their work. Wooyoung had mixed feelings about it being over already because on one hand he hated when photoshoots lasted for hours and hours but on the other hand, he was running out of time to talk to Yeosang. He knew he had to do something to try and see him again but he was sometimes bad at thinking on his feet. 

“Thank you. I have heard a lot about you from Joowon.” Eunwoo’s voice pulled Wooyoung out of his head and he came back to the moment. 

“You know me?” 

“I was in Stars Align with Joowon last year, she said it would only be a matter of time until you made it big.”

“It was an honor to work with you, really.” Wooyoung knew his friend gushed about his work but he always felt so special inside hearing the things she said about him. He always knew that she believed in him ever since he made that first dress for her. 

“I hope to see you again.” Eunwoo said politely, noticing that Yeosang was finished using the dressing room and it was his turn. 

Yeosang looked good even in his own clothes. They were very casual, most likely because he was on and off film sets and bouncing around schedules. He had on a grey hoodie with dark jeans, holding onto a blue beanie and his phone carded delicately between his thin fingers. Everything he had worn was gently placed back on the same hangers and organized just as Wooyoung had them when they arrived. Just the thoughtfulness of that action was enough to make the designer’s heart beat faster. 

“Thank you for making me look perfect, your designs are really nice.”

“I was really glad to be part of this project with you, Hongjoong said this is big for you.”

“He’s right. And it went well because of you.” Yeosang looked around, watching the rest of the staff pack up their things. He noticed Hongjoong on the phone, but that was never an odd sight. “I think I want to hear more about your work some time, I think I overheard Eunwoo saying you designed for Joowon?” 

“A few times, she is really fun to design for.” Wooyoung felt nervous talking about himself but he was loving the attention Yeosang was giving him. “I could show you if you’re free after this.” 

“I can’t” Yeosang looked over at Hongjoong nervously. _His day must be jam packed_ , Wooyoung thought, feeling defeated. “But I left my number in the pocket of those pants, so I’ll hear from you soon?” 

Wooyoung’s eyes widened, shifting from the actor to the pair of pants hanging neatly on the rack. Did he really just do that? He must not have noticed how long Yeosang had taken in the dressing room because he was talking to Eunwoo about his friends but he never would have assumed that someone like Yeosang would want to talk to him again. Wooyoung knew he was good looking but sometimes being around god-like models and actors gave him a tendency to feel a bit inadequate sometimes. 

“Y-yeah, I’ll text you.”

“Perfect.” Yeosang winked before heading off with Hongjoong out the door. Wooyoung stared off for a few moments before snapping back to his work and putting everything away. As he was getting all of the pieces back into their garment bags he reached into the pocket and found the piece of paper with Yeosang’s number on it. Seeing the numbers almost felt surreal because what if Yeosang was flirting back? Should he even be flirting with an actor?

He over-thought it the whole way back to his studio and even when he was putting everything away. Wooyoung knew it was one of his worst flaws but he talked himself out of it and changed his mind about four times before making it to his apartment. He wanted to get to know Yeosang more but he was always haunted by his relationship failures to get anything to work out. 

“Wooyoung, you’re overthinking it, he wants to be your friend.” He nodded to himself and sent a quick text to the number on the paper. 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

Hey, it’s Wooyoung. 

He didn’t want to think too deeply into it anymore. Maybe he was being impulsive but Wooyoung went to bed before getting a reply, telling himself nothing would go wrong. 


	3. Chateau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Something about you makes me feel like I can." (Chateau - Djo)

The morning after the shoot, Wooyoung did not have anything pressing to do so he slept in. This was something he had shamed himself in doing plenty of times but after achieving success the day before, he let this one slide. As he rolled over, he spotted the digital clock on his nightstand, glaring at it with his one opened eye. He was more than slightly buried in a pile of pillows and blankets that had tangled him in a few different ways. Mingi would say he was a chaotic sleeper and he literally was in no position to deny that fact. 

Groaning, Wooyoung sat himself up and leaned against his headboard before picking up his cellphone again. By eleven in the morning he expected more people to be looking for him but the only texts he had received was one from Jongho who had decided to share a random fact at three AM and one from Yeosang. 

His eyes widened when he read the name, once, twice, even a third time to confirm the actor had actually responded to him. _Of course he would respond, he gave you his number idiot_. Wooyoung mentally slapped himself in the face as he opened up the message. It was a simple hello in response to what he had sent the night before. A small portion of him felt guilty when he spotted the time Yeosang had responded because Wooyoung expected the other to be sleeping or busy so he just threw his phone off to the side and ignored it. Yeosang texted back right away. 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

When are you free? 

Wooyoung had originally typed out the message casually as he would to his friends but his thumb hovered over the message for a few seconds before erasing it and retyping it with capital letters and punctuation. When he was speaking casually, he normally dropped the formalities of proper sentence structure mainly because he had a tendency to text without thinking. For the times where it did involve business, he would often go over his texts to make sure they looked and sounded acceptable for the recipient. 

With Yeosang, he resorted to speaking formally not because he saw their interactions as business but his nerves got the best of him. He feared the actor would have some sort of standard and there was no way he was going to be left on read because he didn’t capitalize his sentence. 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

Is it last minute to say in an hour? 

His phone buzzed a few seconds after he sent his message, making Wooyoung jump and hastily scramble to get a hold of it. Once he opened the conversation, he noticed three little dots at the bottom of the screen, indicating the other was still typing. Wooyoung waited a moment for the following message to pop up before considering a response. 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

I have a meeting tonight and drama filming tomorrow morning.

Seeing the actor finish his thought in a small series of texts matched the way he often spoke through messages. Both Wooyoung and Mingi would just quickly type and send multiple messages to tell a story as they recounted details while someone like Jongho took an awfully long time to write everything out in one solid message. Those types of messages often scared Wooyooung because it reminded him of some of the many arguments he would have with San when they were both living their separate college lives. 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

Sounds perfect. Where can we meet? :) 

He mindlessly slipped in the smile right before pressing send but he took pride in his positive attitude. 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

How about Mimi Sang’s? 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

It’s that cafe right next to the florist that always has those pretty lilies in the window

 **To: Kang Yeosang**

See you in an hour :)

Wooyoung hastily put his phone back on the charger before shimmying off to the shower. He hadn’t gotten to shower when he came home last night since he went straight to bed. There was no way he was going to stink when going to meet up with a beautiful actor outside of work. With the water on, he hopped right in rather than waiting for the water to warm up and was hit with instant regret. Idiotic decisions aside, Wooyoung sped up his shower routine and opted to bypass the broadway musical feature that would typically extend his time by over one hundred percent. 

There was a sense of panic when he was informed he only had an hour to get to Mimi Sang’s as maybe it was close to where Yeosang lived but it was quite a ways from his own apartment. It was moments like this where he was grateful for his past self being so stubborn when his friends tried to talk him out of buying a car. The last thing he wanted to worry about now was catching the subway or a bus that was heading downtown. Wooyoung couldn’t even count the times he cried over the stress of being late to something important because he missed a bus and subsequently a career opportunity. With that in mind, he believed the extra parking fee was definitely worth never crying on the subway again. 

After getting dressed, Wooyoung made sure he grabbed a pair of black and white sneakers to match with his outfit. He hoped he didn’t look like he was trying too hard for this to turn into a date because he wanted to casually meet with Yeosang. The dark blazer over a t-shirt and jeans felt like a solid middle of the road option so he stuck with it. 

Getting to Mimi Sang’s wasn’t too difficult although it did take him about fifteen minutes due to an unforeseen accident that detoured his typical route to that side of town. Despite this, Wooyoung took pride in making it over here in under an hour but as he walked by the florist shop, he noticed a familiar person sitting at a small table by the window. Eyes wide, he rushed inside, hoping he didn’t keep the actor waiting very long.

“Hey! Sorry I ran into traffic!” Wooyoung sat in the empty chair across the table, ignoring the scene he may have made by raising his voice in the nearly empty cafe. 

“That’s okay. I live by here so I just walked.” Yeosang smiled, giving off a genuine aura that it really was not a big deal. “I ordered an iced Americano for you because you seemed the type to love it but it’s okay if you want something else.” 

“That’s crazy.”

“The coffee?”

“Yeah. It’s what I get all the time.” Wooyoung wasn’t the type to grab a coffee every single morning but there were times around big deadlines where he needed a little something extra to combat the long nights and heightened stress. Perhaps using caffeine wasn’t the greatest option but he has made worse mistakes. 

Yeosang appeared to be pleased with himself for making that deduction, the designer had an attitude that just screamed iced Americano. There was a major brightness to Wooyoung that the actor was drawn to. 

“Oh good, I would have had to drink it and then Hongjoong would have been mad at you.” 

“He could _never_ be mad at me, I’m too adorable.”

“I’m guessing you could get away with a lot for that reason.” 

“See, you get me.” Wooyoung absentmindedly winked before taking a sip of the coffee through the paper straw. Before walking through the door, he imagined casually spending time with an up and coming actor would be extremely intimidating but Yeosang was different from his expectations. He heard plenty of stories from people who had known celebrities in person and the drama they would stir up for almost no reason. With Joowon, Wooyoung thought he has just gotten lucky that he met a down-to-Earth starlight but maybe his assumptions of the elite were wrong. Even Cha Eunwoo seemed polite but who knows how he acted when he got home. 

“I have to admit something. The outfit you had me wear, I saw the sweater on the runway.”

Yeosang had worked with plenty of people in the industry so far, making his start as a model. Unfortunately, he had never gotten to work with Wooyoung until his acting debut but he counted himself lucky for crossing paths with the designer. He was full of passion and he could tell by the way he presented his work on set. Wooyoung was somebody Yeosang had heard of, mostly because his manager Hongjoong insisted on watching a televised runway show one evening when the movie they intended to watch ended up being a flop. The pieces showed that night were gorgeous, mostly couture designers but he was fascinated by the men’s line. Even Hongjoong admitted to not recognizing Wooyoung when he first met him, both of them had expected an older designer but he was fascinated to see someone with the drive Wooyoung had. 

“You saw my show?” The man perked up, making Yeosang smile gently as he nodded, “That sucks. I mean! Okay! It’s not that it _sucks_ sucks, but it sucks that you technically saw it before you wore it which means it’s less special right? Cause I didn’t make something new-” 

“Wooyoung!” 

“Yeah?” Wooyoung’s voice was weak, embarrassed for panicking over something unnecessary. His face was turning red as he laughed at himself because Yeosang did not even look phased by his major overreaction. 

“I was honored you believed I would look good in a piece that is special to you. That’s all.”

“Well Hongjoong said it was your big break so you really did deserve it.” Yeosang felt his cheeks grow warmer when he said that. 

“Your designs are beautiful, I’d love to see more some time.”

“Then why did you ask me to get coffee when I could have taken you to my studio?” 

“Are you scolding me?” He laughed. 

“No but I’ve been told I’m kind of a tease.”

“I’ll remember that.” Yeosang gave Wooyoung a smug look before taking a sip of his own coffee. The two of them spoke comfortably with each other, making the afternoon more calming than Wooyoung anticipated. Conversation flowed simply through topics only to find they had plenty of things in common. Neither of them had gotten too personal, but it grew difficult to hold back from oversharing. Once he gets comfortable, it is typical for Wooyoung to say something he would soon regret. However, before they knew it, Hongjoong was calling in search of Yeosang for his upcoming schedule. The actor reluctantly said goodbye to Wooyoung with the agreement to the studio invitation. Due to his schedule, there was no set time but as soon as there was a moment to spare, he was to get a tour of Wooyoung’s work space. 

The rush of the afternoon hit Wooyoung like a wave, somehow knocking the wind out of his lungs leaving him gasping for air. He could very much have been overreacting but everyone knew that was a simple game he always had to play against himself. There were so many thoughts swimming through his head, there was no alternative besides calling in reinforcements. In these situations, he knew Mingi would mentally slap him across the face and call him an idiot for overthinking. While that was true, Wooyoung could admit that, he needed a mental slap with some level-headed advice. 

Quickly, dropping his keys onto the counter and making a beeline for the fridge to grab some water, Wooyoung dialed Jongho’s number and hoped he would answer. 

“Hello?” 

“Jongho!” There was a pause before the younger said anything, most likely due to him rolling his eyes on the other line. 

“What did you do this time?” Wooyoung could hear the slight annoyance in his friend’s voice but he knew it wasn’t too serious. There was never a time when Jongho gave bad advice and perhaps he knew just how good he was at thinking about the world. Any time there was a problem, Wooyoung would confide in this friend much more than Mingi because that kind of advice would always get him into trouble. 

The only time both Mingi and Jongho agreed was when Wooyoung had been distraught over the last time San had forgotten his birthday. The day itself had been a huge disaster because he had spent the afternoon having lunch with his mother who he ended up arguing with concerning her new relationship announcement. He had come home upset, only to be greeted by an empty apartment. Wooyoung had slumped down on the couch and checked his phone for the first time since before lunch and noticed San had texted him that he was going to be staying late with a friend to work on a new assignment. The friend was somebody new who transferred a few weeks into the semester and he knew San sort of took him under his wing. Wooyoung didn’t complain that night, instead resorting to going to bed early after drinking a bottle of wine himself. The following morning he had vented to his two friends during lunch and they always knew how to raise his spirits. 

“What do you mean what did I do? What if I didn’t do anything?”

“Then what are you trying to do and are you trying to call me to get some sort of validation to do the thing you’re trying to do?” 

“Holy shit, Jongho, why do you always think I’m getting into trouble?” 

“Because I know you.” 

“Fair enough.” He heard his friend laugh. 

“Seriously though, what’s wrong?” 

“I don’t wanna break Yeosang’s heart.” 

“Sorry, what? Who is Yeosang?” 

“Someone I met at work, we had coffee today,” Wooyoung sighed, starting to pace around his kitchen, “And we just had something, you know? Like we kind of clicked and everything.” 

“And that’s how you’re breaking his heart? Coffee?” 

“No! I mean, you know how I get when I date someone...it never ends nicely.” 

“You can’t compare everything to what happened with San.” 

“But even people I have tried dating since then, they ended so fast.” 

“Walls, Wooyoung. You’ve built walls.” Jongho did feel bad for his friend, knowing everything he had gone through. Being the friend he always goes to when he is distraught gave him plenty of insight on the way he views himself and others. He wished Wooyoung would just shine a better light on himself but he had an idea why he is this way. “Does Yeosang even want to date you?”

“Are you saying he wouldn’t want to date me?” 

“How can you be so insecure and also have a god-complex? I don’t understand you.”

“Sorry. I just mean, I assumed he was interested in me like that. It was a flirty vibe.” 

“You’re overthinking this if you just met him, Woo, how about you relax and try to be friends first?” 

“Friends first?” 

“Yes. Don’t think about flirting or kissing or even sex. Just be friends with him and see where it goes.” 

“What if he wants to jump right into dating?” 

“We’ve talked about this before.”

“Yeah and last time I didn’t listen.” 

“Exactly. Idiot. So what did you do that I told you not to?”

“Agree to date him on the third date…”

“And what did I say you _should_ have done?”

“Be honest and open about my feelings and hope he agrees to be patient…” 

“Bingo. That’s all you have to do.” 

“Seriously Jongho, where would I be without you?” 

“It’s scary to even consider. But are you okay? I have homework to do.”

“Why you decided to go back to school amazes me, I would never. But yes, I’m okay.” 

“It’s not too bad. Goodnight Wooyoung.”

“Night, Jongho.” 

As the line ended, Wooyoung collapsed on the couch as he felt a release of stress. Something about Yeosang was different and he just knew that he could not afford to take the same mindless risks he would on someone he met at a bar. Ever since he broke up with San, he was sent back into a pool of uncertainty and lacked the control not to sabotage his own relationships. Those ended very quickly and would often hurt the person he was with in an attempt to save himself from more heartbreak. There were many times he almost broke up with San in the earlier stages of his relationship because he was worried that a heartbreak would happen. He was worried he was being a bad boyfriend, someone who wasn’t deserving of a boyfriend as loving as San was in the beginning. He thought maybe the distance they accidentally created was something Wooyoung deserved. Following in the footsteps of his mother was much too expected and he was convinced he was destined to just be in someone’s life for a short time before finding someone else like a soulless cycle. It was too much to think about. 

He focused his mind on Yeosang and the worries faded more and more with each passing thought. The actor wasn’t like the people at the bar, the ones coming on as strong as they could to get a night with him. Or the ones he pursued like his life depended on it. He smiled so calmly, confident in his own existence. It was something Wooyoung only pretended to have but it wasn’t jealousy he felt. 

He was happy when he spent time with Yeosang. It was comfortable and casual, giving Wooyoung a huge sense of relief when he sat down at the table. The man talked so passionately about his acting career and how much he couldn’t wait until the episodes began airing. Wooyoung could only imagine what that would look like. Yeosang’s character was supposed to be the lead’s good friend ever since childhood but Eunwoo was the new eye candy. The biggest problem the lead faced was choosing one over the other because she can’t help but begin to form a crush on her coworker but at the same time she holds an unrealized love for her best friend. Walls need to be broken in order for the decision to be made. 

Wooyoung really wanted to press Yeosang for an answer. If he were in the middle, he would pick Yeosang’s character without an ounce of hesitation. There is no way some new hot guy would be able to get in the way of someone he had loved for years. 

Wooyoung sighed, eventually moving to get up. He didn’t want to sit around and allow his thoughts to get the best of him before even a friendship was formed. It would have been embarrassing and also disappointing for Jongho to know he disregarded his advice again. Friends. He could be friends with an absolutely beautiful man who just so happens to love his work, and is easy to talk to, and makes him feel like there is nothing in the universe to worry about. That would be easy. 

Getting to sleep was much too easy this time, but not because he found a way to ease back on the overthinking. His mind was still going and going but the thoughts tonight were less of the worried possibilities of situations that had a minimal chance of even occurring, but instead they were of Yeosang. All he could think about was how pretty he looked in the sweater and how much he would have loved for the actor to have been the one to wear it for the first time on the runway. All he could think about was designing a brand new red velvet suit that fit Yeosang just right for his first ever film event. He would make the cover of so many gossip magazines, talking about how effortlessly stunning he looked. 

The thoughts of doing all of his best work for Yeosang cooed him into a deep sleep, something he found hard to receive through the stress of making a name for himself and mishandling his own emotional baggage. Wooyoung curled an arm around one of his pillows and held it close to his body rather than thrashing about throughout the night. 

By the time the morning came around, he woke up without the use of an alarm. If he didn’t live in a busy city, he could have certainly heard the soft melody of a songbird out of his window. But what he could make out was the muffled sound of chatter in the hallway. It was a little odd considering his apartment sat at the corner of the top floor and his closest neighbor had moved out a little over two months prior to this morning. Wooyoung groaned and searched for his phone, something he never understood was so mobile throughout the night because it was never in the same place he left it. 

Before his eyes could fixate on the time, his focus zeroed in on the message he had gotten. Kang Yeosang’s name was written so simply in the notification bubble but he couldn’t help but look at it like it was a brand new feature embedded into his phone. 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

Good Morning! Hope I didn’t wake you up but I was wondering when I could cash in on the studio tour

Wooyoung cracked a silly smile at the message, fully rolling onto his side to type out a response. 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

Hmm let me check my schedule 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

I’m a very busy man, Yeo 

He had pressed send before he finally glanced at the time. 9AM. For him, that was pretty early but he was used to getting a later start to his day on account of him feeling much more creative further into the evening. Wooyoung still got out of bed to try and work on something small for breakfast because his day was pretty packed once the afternoon hit. He always hated consultations with new clients because there was no telling if they were going to want something overly complicated or give him unreasonable time constraints. Whenever he got a new idea, however, he had to get right to work or the thought would get lost completely. 

**From: Kang Yeosang**

Filming is crazy this week

**From: Kang Yeosang**

I feel like I won’t have much time to sit down :(

**From: Kang Yeosang**

Can we at least talk on the phone tonight?

As much as Wooyoung thrived off his teasing attitude and it was that attitude that convinced him to send the messages he did, he watched the responses come in as Yeosang typed them. The actor was still typing a fourth message but all of a sudden the dot disappeared and he was left with the three. Even with those, he felt an overwhelming connection with the other. He sympathized with the hectic schedule he had gotten into. Being his first drama, there was no doubt he felt overwhelmed. Wooyoung remembered the huge undertaking of his first line once he graduated college. It was nothing like the class he had taken because there were absolutely no guidelines to what had to be done because he was actually free to create whatever he wanted. That idea was both a blessing and a curse seeing as it left Wooyoung in a fit of stress for the better part of a month while conceptualizing the entire line. 

**To: Kang Yeosang**

I think I’ll have time Thursday night

**To: Kang Yeosang**

But we can talk tonight

**From: Kang Yeosang**

That’s perfect. Thank you, Woo. :)

* * *

‘Talk tonight’ actually ended up being much later than intended due to their busy schedules. By the time Wooyoung received a message from Yeosang about being home, he was on his commute back to his own apartment. The consultation went considerably well which led to a burst of creativity. He would have absolutely lost track of time if he didn’t set an alarm for himself indicating that it was time to go home so he could catch Yeosang before he fell asleep.

But despite it being well past midnight, Wooyoung situated himself on the couch by lounging sideways, head on the armrest with his phone by his head on a side table. He dialed his new friend’s phone number and listened to the soft ring on speaker before the line was picked up. 

“You have no idea how much I needed to talk to you today.” 

“Well good evening to you, sir.” 

“There was so much to do today… I feel like I’m in over my head.” The tone of Yeosang’s voice was sad with the daily stress weighed on top. 

“Do you want to talk about it? Like vent or something?” Wooyoung wasn’t a stranger to the feeling, especially being an extremely young designer. He knew it was difficult to climb the ladder when the greats of the trade had so much to offer. 

“It’s just that being on set with someone like Eunwoo, _the_ Cha Eunwoo, it just feels like I can’t match up. You saw how handsome he is. What am I doing?”

“Yeosang, you’re handsome too. Extremely.” 

“But you only saw me modeling, I’m good at that. I _know_ what to do. Acting as a character is something that just makes me feel awkward. Or maybe I’m thinking about it too much. What can I do to just let go?” That was the question of the century for Wooyoung. He would sometimes fall into bouts of inspiration where nothing else mattered but the piece he was creating. 

“You just have to try and block out the real world.” He smiled, hoping he could conjure up some advice that Jongho would even approve of. “Sometimes when I get inspired I lose track of what time it is until I notice the Sun rising. Hey, don’t laugh, I know that’s not the best example but it’s about focusing.” 

“So you’re saying I should _become_ Lee Sungchan?”

“Yes! Imagine you’re him and you’ll really feel like you’re in love with whoever Hyewon is playing.” 

“Younghee. And you’re right, I’ve been so worried about doing a good job, it’s been hard to focus on Sungchan.” There was a moment of silence between them and he could just tell the other was thinking. Wooyoung really felt as if he was getting closer to Yeosang and it felt good to be able to form a connection with someone new. “The hardest party, I think, is acting like I’m into a girl.” 

“You’re… not?” 

“Oh my god, do I look straight?” Wooyoung laughed. 

“Not exactly but I’d still like you no matter what.”

“Good. I can’t lose you already. I’ve known you less than a week.” The weight of Yeosang’s words probably felt stronger to Wooyoung than he intended but his heart swelled to the thought of his new friend not wanting to lose him. Sarcasm or not, it gave him a sense of security that buckled him into a brand new lifeboat. 

“You should have met the woman I’m designing for.” Wooyoung sensed a comfortable air between them, welcoming an easy shift of conversation. This was how they talked at Mimi Sang’s, the duality of their personalities played well when speaking about lighthearted topics and shifted when a more serious matter came up. Although they tended to keep it light when speaking casually in public. Wooyoung didn’t feel inclined to talk about his woes when he was just enjoying the company of a new friend. “She wants this gown for her anniversary so it’s going to be kind of fancy but also not crazy like a red carpet look. It’s still kind of scary to think about.” 

“Making dresses is scary? Wooyoung, you’ve done it a lot.” 

“And it was scary each time.” To that, Yeosang laughed. For one of the first times in the conversation, he really sounded at ease. “Women’s wear is soooo much harder for me. I know, I know. What kind of designer can’t make clothes for women. It’s me! But I am getting better everyday.” 

“I believe in you. I really do. Eunwoo showed me that dress you made for Joowon and it really took my breath away. That’s probably why I was surprised to hear you say that you were scared.” 

“That one…” Wooyoung shifted on the couch, taking the phone in his hands and taking the man off the speaker and holding the device to his ear. “I think I sat on the floor and cried because I didn’t realize I had to individually lay some of the stones on the skirt and it was five in the morning.” He sighed, “Dyeing the fabric took so much out of me, I did it for my final in college without any major problems but doing it on my own was something else.” 

“But you had to be proud of the result, right?”

“I think Joowon made it better. I was proud of myself for getting it done in time but her reaction was everything for me.” Thinking back on the time he got that project done, he went through hell and back just to get an acceptable product for the famous actress. He worried something would happen to his reputation if he messed up and he also wanted to do right by Joowon because she had been so enthusiastic and supportive of the young designer during the whole process. 

“That’s great, I really think you deserve it, Woo.” 

“Are you tired?” 

“Yes.” 

“You sound like you’re falling asleep, Yeo.” Wooyoung giggled, but after only receiving a simple noise in response, he knew he was losing him. “Yeosang? Yeoooo. Oh my god you really fell asleep.” 

To be polite, Wooyoung hung up, albeit reluctantly. His soft breaths on the other line were cute to him but he knew it would be creepy if he stuck on the line and listened to Yeosang sleep. On one hand, he was glad the actor was getting some much needed rest, but as he got up off the couch and made his way to bed as well, he felt a sense of longing despite having just been talking to Yeosang. 

As he lay back in his own bed again, thoughts of Yeosang swimming through his restless mind, he was happy. Wooyoung had been concerned mostly with his own success for a long time but he was sincerely hoping for the best for Yeosang. They communicated just so easily, it reminded him of how he used to be with San. Bringing up the past added a sour note to his thoughts, trying to push them away from the innocence of this budding friendship. 

**Author's Note:**

> "I could follow you to the beginning, just to relive the start. Maybe then we'll remember to slow down" (All I Wanted - Paramore)


End file.
